1
00:00:04,313 --> 00:00:07,075
Come on, Beckett! Come out, already!
2
00:00:07,076 --> 00:00:08,492
I'm working up to it, relax!
3
00:00:08,493 --> 00:00:10,627
Oh, Nelson, you can't
convert him like that.
4
00:00:10,628 --> 00:00:11,979
What gives you the authority?
5
00:00:11,980 --> 00:00:13,630
I'll show you what gives me the authority;
6
00:00:13,631 --> 00:00:17,468
Right here, this sock! It costs
more than your entire wardrobe.
7
00:00:17,469 --> 00:00:20,037
Yeah? Well, I get my socks in packs or ten
8
00:00:20,038 --> 00:00:22,039
and then with the change
left over, I'll get myself
9
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,942
a real nice ice cream. Who's winning now!?
10
00:00:24,943 --> 00:00:28,312
Is it just me... or is it hot in here?
11
00:00:28,313 --> 00:00:30,914
(The guys laugh.)
12
00:00:30,915 --> 00:00:34,051
Oh my God, you did convert him.
13
00:00:34,052 --> 00:00:35,819
So, how does it feel?
14
00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:37,821
I don't know, but I think
this must be what it feels like
15
00:00:37,822 --> 00:00:39,690
to be Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
16
00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:42,326
Wait... you bought him a suit?
17
00:00:42,327 --> 00:00:44,261
Yeah, it's no big deal.
18
00:00:44,262 --> 00:00:46,530
Uh, well, it did cost more
than my entire wardrobe.
19
00:00:46,531 --> 00:00:49,533
Oh, what's it made of? Nelson's socks?
20
00:00:49,534 --> 00:00:52,002
Hey, I'm single now. If
I can't spend my money
21
00:00:52,003 --> 00:00:54,571
on my bro-F-F, who can I spend it on?
22
00:00:54,572 --> 00:00:57,341
- Me!
- (both): Nah!
23
00:00:57,342 --> 00:00:59,343
Hey, and it doesn't end
there. Check this out.
24
00:00:59,344 --> 00:01:02,713
Oh no, you di'n't...
25
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:06,316
Oh yes, I did! Just like how we
dreamed about when we were kids.
26
00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,785
- (Starts motor.)
- Oh-ho!
27
00:01:08,786 --> 00:01:10,988
Duuuuuuude.
28
00:01:10,989 --> 00:01:13,157
- You pimped his couch?
- Oh yeah!
29
00:01:13,158 --> 00:01:15,359
I'm gonna be late for work!
30
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,962
You stay on long enough,
it'll take you to work!
31
00:01:18,963 --> 00:01:22,699
Come on! Fill the lens
32
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:26,503
With all your friends Oh
33
00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:28,805
Now
34
00:01:28,806 --> 00:01:31,175
Is forever
35
00:01:31,176 --> 00:01:34,878
Come on! Fill the lens
36
00:01:34,879 --> 00:01:38,702
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
37
00:01:42,388 --> 00:01:45,232
Sir, in light of Gordon's
brush with death last week,
38
00:01:45,233 --> 00:01:48,001
I have removed the toaster
from the kitchen sink area.
39
00:01:48,002 --> 00:01:50,504
Dave, that toaster was filthy.
40
00:01:50,505 --> 00:01:52,806
And I have asked everyone to update
41
00:01:52,807 --> 00:01:55,609
- their emergency contact forms.
- Ah! Uh...
42
00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:58,212
you made yourself your
own emergency contact?
43
00:01:58,213 --> 00:02:01,248
Technically you are, but you
forward all your calls to me,
44
00:02:01,249 --> 00:02:03,250
so I figured I'd just skip the middle man,
45
00:02:03,251 --> 00:02:05,252
- Thank you, Bryce!
- (Ding!)
46
00:02:05,253 --> 00:02:08,255
Good morning, Dad! Good morning, Gordon.
47
00:02:08,256 --> 00:02:10,691
Ah, morning, how was your weekend?
48
00:02:10,692 --> 00:02:14,528
Ah, it was amazing. I
feel totally transformed.
49
00:02:14,529 --> 00:02:16,830
Ooh! Autobot or Decepticon?
50
00:02:16,831 --> 00:02:19,032
Answer carefully.
51
00:02:19,033 --> 00:02:22,202
Dad sent me to a motivational
speaker's conference.
52
00:02:22,203 --> 00:02:24,071
Yes, yes, all those cocktail parties.
53
00:02:24,072 --> 00:02:26,106
Perfect place to meet
CEO's with money to burn.
54
00:02:26,107 --> 00:02:29,009
So did you make any important connections?
55
00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:30,811
As a matter of fact I did connect
56
00:02:30,812 --> 00:02:34,915
with someone very powerful: myself.
57
00:02:34,916 --> 00:02:36,817
Oh dear God! You didn't actually listen
58
00:02:36,818 --> 00:02:38,719
to one of those motivational
speakers, did you?
59
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,622
I spent two straight days
listening to Turner Champion
60
00:02:41,623 --> 00:02:44,057
and his message about opening
your gifts from within,
61
00:02:44,058 --> 00:02:47,294
I've never felt more inspired!
62
00:02:47,295 --> 00:02:49,830
I spent 2 days thinking
I was binge-watching
63
00:02:49,831 --> 00:02:54,535
the Fireplace Channel.
Turns out I have a fireplace!
64
00:02:54,536 --> 00:02:57,604
Sweetheart, I specifically said
65
00:02:57,605 --> 00:03:00,607
that weekend was supposed to
be about shmoozing and boozing.
66
00:03:00,608 --> 00:03:02,643
Actually, a bunch of
the CEO's quit drinking
67
00:03:02,644 --> 00:03:04,912
because of his message
of self-improvement.
68
00:03:04,913 --> 00:03:07,447
And that's something you
might want to consider.
69
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:10,984
Look, if all the other CEO's
were jumping off a bridge,
70
00:03:10,985 --> 00:03:13,587
I wouldn't do that either.
Well, except for that one time
71
00:03:13,588 --> 00:03:16,323
when Mark Cuban goaded
me into bungee jumping.
72
00:03:16,324 --> 00:03:19,426
Hm! Well, as Turner Champion says:
73
00:03:19,427 --> 00:03:21,929
"Falling is just flying for beginners."
74
00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:24,998
Ugh! OH!
75
00:03:27,535 --> 00:03:31,171
Flying!
76
00:03:34,042 --> 00:03:36,109
- Hi, Bryce!
- OH!
77
00:03:36,110 --> 00:03:38,679
Gordon, you never sneak up on
a man holding a butter knife.
78
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,515
- Do you have a death wish?
- As a matter of fact I do.
79
00:03:41,516 --> 00:03:43,517
My Death wish is to be cremated
80
00:03:43,518 --> 00:03:45,652
and put inside an Etch-a-sketch.
81
00:03:45,653 --> 00:03:48,121
Remember to shake me on my birthday!
82
00:03:48,122 --> 00:03:50,924
Don't worry, I've written
it all down for you.
83
00:03:50,925 --> 00:03:52,793
Why on earth would you
write it down for me?
84
00:03:52,794 --> 00:03:54,761
Because you're my emergency contact.
85
00:03:54,762 --> 00:03:56,930
Oh, Gordon, that is preposterous.
86
00:03:56,931 --> 00:04:00,200
Oh, I understand. You'd
be too upset if I died.
87
00:04:00,201 --> 00:04:01,969
I assure you that is not it.
88
00:04:01,970 --> 00:04:05,205
Oh, it's OK, Bryce. Even when I'm gone,
89
00:04:05,206 --> 00:04:07,207
you will always have a part of me.
90
00:04:07,208 --> 00:04:10,243
Or all of me. So far,
there's no other takers.
91
00:04:13,648 --> 00:04:16,383
Dude, that massage couch
still has me half-asleep.
92
00:04:16,384 --> 00:04:19,219
- Not a complaint!
- What you need
93
00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:22,789
is a strong shot of caffeine, my friend.
94
00:04:25,426 --> 00:04:26,960
Oh! What's the matter, too hot?
95
00:04:26,961 --> 00:04:29,529
It's too... "not coffee"!
96
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,365
I tossed anything that has caffeine in it.
97
00:04:31,366 --> 00:04:34,134
Artificial energy creates artificial ideas.
98
00:04:34,135 --> 00:04:36,203
So I made some herbal tea.
99
00:04:36,204 --> 00:04:38,238
OK!
100
00:04:38,239 --> 00:04:41,508
- Here's an idea:
- Hm!
101
00:04:41,509 --> 00:04:44,177
Instead of, I don't know, murdering you,
102
00:04:44,178 --> 00:04:47,047
I'm going to use that
energy to run downstairs
103
00:04:47,048 --> 00:04:49,483
and get a couple of coffees, OK?
104
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,655
- I like tea.
- Oh!
105
00:04:54,656 --> 00:04:57,090
Although it never tastes
as good as it smells.
106
00:04:59,927 --> 00:05:02,929
This is unbelievable!
107
00:05:02,930 --> 00:05:06,833
What's up, McBradden? You look
like you've seen a... mirror!
108
00:05:06,834 --> 00:05:09,770
I was just going through
Gordon's personnel file.
109
00:05:09,771 --> 00:05:14,908
Under emergency contact, he
has put me, every single year.
110
00:05:14,909 --> 00:05:18,312
Wouldn't it be smarter to put:
"whoever's reading this form"?
111
00:05:18,313 --> 00:05:21,381
I never thought that he and I
had that kind of relationship.
112
00:05:21,382 --> 00:05:25,018
You guys have a ton in
common. You both, uh...
113
00:05:25,019 --> 00:05:27,654
work here. Both, uh...
114
00:05:27,655 --> 00:05:30,257
Look, I say don't fight it, dude.
115
00:05:30,258 --> 00:05:32,993
You know, that may be the very first time
116
00:05:32,994 --> 00:05:35,629
that anyone has ever
actually called me "dude".
117
00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:38,799
Wow! It feels all warm and tingly.
118
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,634
You know, like when
your foot falls asleep...
119
00:05:40,635 --> 00:05:43,203
only, in my heart.
120
00:05:45,306 --> 00:05:48,208
Oh, this is atrocious.
121
00:05:48,209 --> 00:05:52,913
Stephanie, why does my office
look like an Enya video?
122
00:05:52,914 --> 00:05:55,716
C'mon, Dad. It's just some candle light
123
00:05:55,717 --> 00:05:58,618
and some ergonomic furniture.
Helping you focus might just
124
00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:01,121
- make you successful.
- Yeah, yeah, it would be nice
125
00:06:01,122 --> 00:06:03,256
to crawl out of my Dickensian poverty,
126
00:06:03,257 --> 00:06:05,592
but may I at least have my chair back?
127
00:06:05,593 --> 00:06:07,761
Ah! Turner Champion, says:
128
00:06:07,762 --> 00:06:10,964
"In order for one to think on their
feet, they must be on their feet."
129
00:06:10,965 --> 00:06:13,200
Ah, he does, does he... What...
130
00:06:13,201 --> 00:06:15,902
What's with the, uh...
what's with the empty jar?
131
00:06:15,903 --> 00:06:17,771
Oh, that's for your
negative thoughts. Any time
132
00:06:17,772 --> 00:06:19,940
you think: "I can't do
this" or "that's a bad idea"
133
00:06:19,941 --> 00:06:23,643
- you put it in the jar!
- Oh! OK, well, uh...
134
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:26,847
This jar is a terrible idea!
135
00:06:26,848 --> 00:06:30,117
Dad, please don't use
the jar against itself.
136
00:06:30,118 --> 00:06:33,153
Look, I'm not opposed to
you embracing new ideas,
137
00:06:33,154 --> 00:06:36,223
I just don't want this to be
another one of your crazy fads.
138
00:06:36,224 --> 00:06:38,158
- Like what?
- Like what!
139
00:06:38,159 --> 00:06:40,861
Like... well, have a seat.
140
00:06:40,862 --> 00:06:43,697
Yah, right there, yah. On that.
141
00:06:43,698 --> 00:06:46,032
NO! No. No.
142
00:06:46,033 --> 00:06:48,802
Noo! No.
143
00:06:48,803 --> 00:06:51,271
No... There... there... there you go!
144
00:06:51,272 --> 00:06:53,440
Yeah, remember in high school
145
00:06:53,441 --> 00:06:55,742
when I had to hire
deprogrammers when you became
146
00:06:55,743 --> 00:06:58,812
an environmentalist. Or the
time your mom showed you, uh...
147
00:06:58,813 --> 00:07:00,747
Flashdance, and you
wanted to become a welder.
148
00:07:00,748 --> 00:07:03,517
Or when you did outward
bound and came home and said
149
00:07:03,518 --> 00:07:06,353
you wanted to live in a badger's den.
150
00:07:06,354 --> 00:07:08,588
OK, well, I promise you, this time.
151
00:07:08,589 --> 00:07:10,924
- I won't go too far.
- There you are, Stephanie.
152
00:07:10,925 --> 00:07:13,360
Turner Champion's people
just called. Apparently,
153
00:07:13,361 --> 00:07:15,996
your bank needs authorization
to release $10,000.
154
00:07:15,997 --> 00:07:17,764
$10,000? What...
155
00:07:17,765 --> 00:07:20,233
How much am I paying you?
156
00:07:20,234 --> 00:07:22,469
Well, it is a small price to pay for me
157
00:07:22,470 --> 00:07:24,738
to unfurl my true kinetic potential.
158
00:07:24,739 --> 00:07:28,408
- No, no, no, it isn't.
- Don't let him get you down.
159
00:07:30,878 --> 00:07:32,746
I can return the hippie
chairs but the bouncy balls
160
00:07:32,747 --> 00:07:35,015
- are yours to keep.
- Oh dear God.
161
00:07:36,517 --> 00:07:39,419
Hey, Ab, any specials today?
162
00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:41,922
Yes, Shepherd's pie, but
there's only one slice left
163
00:07:41,923 --> 00:07:44,424
and I'm saving it for me. It looks amazing!
164
00:07:44,425 --> 00:07:48,395
So selfless of you.
I'm gonna need a minute.
165
00:07:48,396 --> 00:07:51,631
No you won't. My man and I
will have the steak sandwiches,
166
00:07:51,632 --> 00:07:54,835
- half fries, half onion rings.
- This suit come with a bib?
167
00:07:54,836 --> 00:07:58,104
- Did you just order for him?
- I know what my man likes.
168
00:07:58,105 --> 00:08:01,808
Oh! And does 'your man'
like being called 'your man'?
169
00:08:01,809 --> 00:08:04,277
Actually, my preferred
moniker is 'the man',
170
00:08:04,278 --> 00:08:06,546
but Nelson's the man for buying
me lunch, so he can call me
171
00:08:06,547 --> 00:08:09,216
- whatever he wants.
- Dude, how could I possibly
172
00:08:09,217 --> 00:08:12,118
be the man when you are so clearly the man?
173
00:08:12,119 --> 00:08:15,255
Nelson, please! It is
evident to everyone here,
174
00:08:15,256 --> 00:08:18,058
that you, sir, are in fact, the man.
175
00:08:18,059 --> 00:08:20,961
- No, YOU are! Called it.
- Are you guys done?
176
00:08:20,962 --> 00:08:24,531
'Cause we're out of steak sandwiches.
177
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:30,804
- (knocking at the door)
- Hey! Little help here!
178
00:08:30,805 --> 00:08:33,540
- Thank you.
- Ah, you got some books!
179
00:08:33,541 --> 00:08:35,442
Oh, I got a few books and guess who
180
00:08:35,443 --> 00:08:36,663
I ran into at the bookstore.
181
00:08:38,446 --> 00:08:40,580
- Nelson.
- Ha ha ha! Hey,
182
00:08:40,581 --> 00:08:43,083
if one man can't buy another man
183
00:08:43,084 --> 00:08:46,586
the entire fiction section, I
don't know what friendship is!
184
00:08:46,587 --> 00:08:50,824
Not sure where you're gonna put those.
185
00:08:50,825 --> 00:08:53,693
Oh, what the hell, man?
186
00:08:53,694 --> 00:08:55,729
Yeah, I forgot to tell you, but I bought us
187
00:08:55,730 --> 00:08:59,099
- a 3-D home theatre system.
- Can we keep it?
188
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:01,601
I promise I'll feed it
and take it for walks!
189
00:09:01,602 --> 00:09:04,271
Aw, this is nuts. You've
gotta take it back.
190
00:09:04,272 --> 00:09:06,406
You deserve to see Showgirls in 3D,
191
00:09:06,407 --> 00:09:08,642
the way the universe intended.
192
00:09:08,643 --> 00:09:11,511
- Can I get a "hell yeah"?
- Hell yeah!
193
00:09:11,512 --> 00:09:14,514
Hell no. What is really going on here?
194
00:09:14,515 --> 00:09:18,051
What? Everything's fine. Nothing is wrong.
195
00:09:18,052 --> 00:09:21,021
You guys feel for pizza? I feel
for pizza. I'm 'a order pizza.
196
00:09:21,022 --> 00:09:23,723
Yeah, you do that. You're
the man, with the plan...
197
00:09:23,724 --> 00:09:26,826
- Heh heh.
- ...to pay for everything
198
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:30,363
because everything is just fine. Hm...
199
00:09:30,364 --> 00:09:34,134
Oh no, you have that look on your face.
200
00:09:34,135 --> 00:09:36,036
That look that says that
you're about to say something
201
00:09:36,037 --> 00:09:40,373
- that's going to ruin everything.
- (little laugh)
202
00:09:40,374 --> 00:09:42,776
I think Nelson's compulsive
overspending is distracting him
203
00:09:42,777 --> 00:09:44,911
from some feelings he's not dealing with.
204
00:09:44,912 --> 00:09:47,147
I think that you took one
psychology class in college
205
00:09:47,148 --> 00:09:49,015
and now, you think you're Sigmund Freud!
206
00:09:49,016 --> 00:09:52,385
You have got to let this
one ride out. Look at us!
207
00:09:52,386 --> 00:09:54,387
We are one Plinko game away
208
00:09:54,388 --> 00:09:56,489
from living in a Price is Right showcase.
209
00:09:56,490 --> 00:09:59,125
And if this stuff goes,
210
00:09:59,126 --> 00:10:01,194
I'm going with it.
211
00:10:01,195 --> 00:10:03,563
Oh! I'll see if I can dig
out the box you came in.
212
00:10:08,494 --> 00:10:11,245
All right, bye bye.
213
00:10:12,466 --> 00:10:14,901
Stephanie!
214
00:10:14,902 --> 00:10:16,984
What is it? Do you need another jar?
215
00:10:16,985 --> 00:10:18,752
Oh, I think I'm going to need a keg.
216
00:10:18,753 --> 00:10:22,189
Yeah, I just got off the
phone with Starshine Designs.
217
00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:24,258
Apparently, instead of
doing your presentation,
218
00:10:24,259 --> 00:10:28,162
you asked them to 'unearth what
is inside and visualize it'.
219
00:10:28,163 --> 00:10:30,965
So they've dropped us.
220
00:10:30,966 --> 00:10:34,101
Well uh, remember,
221
00:10:34,102 --> 00:10:37,571
if someone leaves, they
were never really here.
222
00:10:37,572 --> 00:10:42,209
Oh, they were here. They were
really here. For years, they were
223
00:10:42,210 --> 00:10:45,779
here! They helped to build
this beautiful office.
224
00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:48,349
Well it was beautiful before you ruined it.
225
00:10:48,350 --> 00:10:51,318
- Dad, I get why you're angry.
- Oh good, good, good.
226
00:10:51,319 --> 00:10:54,688
Your psychic toxins are
just working their way...
227
00:10:54,689 --> 00:10:57,257
Alright, enough, Fortune Cookie.
228
00:10:57,258 --> 00:10:59,460
I was fine with you pursuing
your new found dogma,
229
00:10:59,461 --> 00:11:01,195
as long as it didn't
affect the bottom line.
230
00:11:01,196 --> 00:11:03,797
But now, I have to put my foot
down, although I would rather
231
00:11:03,798 --> 00:11:06,467
put it through Turner Champion's
ass for stealing your money.
232
00:11:06,468 --> 00:11:09,703
OK, I screwed up with
the client and with you,
233
00:11:09,704 --> 00:11:12,873
but my money is my money
and I'll spend it how I want.
234
00:11:12,874 --> 00:11:16,043
Besides, this is a new
year, a new beginning,
235
00:11:16,044 --> 00:11:19,813
- and things will change.
- Is that more Turner Champion wisdom?
236
00:11:19,814 --> 00:11:21,949
It's Taylor Swift, but still true.
237
00:11:29,324 --> 00:11:32,059
Gordon, I was thinking...
238
00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:34,461
It's so weird! I was too!
239
00:11:34,462 --> 00:11:37,664
In light of your recent selection of me
240
00:11:37,665 --> 00:11:40,634
as emergency contact,
and seeing as you're such
241
00:11:40,635 --> 00:11:43,070
a big fan of football...
242
00:11:43,071 --> 00:11:45,806
I got us 2 tickets to tonight's game.
243
00:11:45,807 --> 00:11:48,375
Fifty yard line. Premium seats!
244
00:11:48,376 --> 00:11:50,844
Oh, I don't actually like football;
245
00:11:50,845 --> 00:11:53,047
I like football mascots
246
00:11:53,048 --> 00:11:55,983
Leo The Lion and Gainer the Gopher
247
00:11:55,984 --> 00:11:58,318
and Ralph The Dog. You
know, I met him once.
248
00:11:58,319 --> 00:12:00,320
He thinks he's people! Ha ha ha!
249
00:12:00,321 --> 00:12:02,089
You mean to tell me
250
00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:03,857
that I just spent half a
week's salary for nothing?
251
00:12:03,858 --> 00:12:05,859
Yeah, looks like it.
252
00:12:05,860 --> 00:12:07,694
Well, you know, actually, Gordon, um...
253
00:12:07,695 --> 00:12:10,064
I'm really busy
254
00:12:10,065 --> 00:12:12,166
looking after Dave, 24/7,
255
00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:15,669
you deserve someone's undivided
attention in case of emergency.
256
00:12:15,670 --> 00:12:17,805
So perhaps you should
consider your mother or...
257
00:12:17,806 --> 00:12:20,307
or your sister or... I don't know,
258
00:12:20,308 --> 00:12:22,943
maybe even a dog. I hear they're
very loyal. (phone ringing)
259
00:12:22,944 --> 00:12:25,446
My point is, I will not be
there for you when you need me.
260
00:12:25,447 --> 00:12:28,015
- Bryce McBradden!
- Hey, Bryce, you answered.
261
00:12:28,016 --> 00:12:32,086
On the first ring. I knew you'd
be there for me, best friend.
262
00:12:32,087 --> 00:12:34,621
- I am not your best friend!
- Yes, you are.
263
00:12:34,622 --> 00:12:37,624
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
264
00:12:37,625 --> 00:12:39,827
- Hang up the phone, Gordon.
- No, you hang up.
265
00:12:39,828 --> 00:12:42,229
- No, YOU hang up!
- No, you hang up.
266
00:12:42,230 --> 00:12:44,164
Alright, fine, we'll both
hang up on the count of three.
267
00:12:44,165 --> 00:12:47,201
- OK!
- (both): One, two, three.
268
00:12:47,202 --> 00:12:49,903
Are you still there?
269
00:12:49,904 --> 00:12:52,973
Yes! Heh heh heh!
270
00:12:52,974 --> 00:12:56,243
Yo, B,
271
00:12:56,244 --> 00:12:59,446
Check it out! I got 2 tickets
to tonight's football game
272
00:12:59,447 --> 00:13:01,415
from Bryce! All I had to do
273
00:13:01,416 --> 00:13:04,751
was call him 'dude'!
274
00:13:04,752 --> 00:13:07,354
Look, about the gifts.
Abby and I were talking,
275
00:13:07,355 --> 00:13:09,123
and we think it's a problem.
276
00:13:09,124 --> 00:13:11,925
- (motor and horn)
- Nelson,
277
00:13:11,926 --> 00:13:14,661
thank you for the sweet ride! You the man!
278
00:13:16,798 --> 00:13:19,867
Now there's a girl who knows
how to enjoy spending my money!
279
00:13:19,868 --> 00:13:21,969
Let me pay you back for the gifts.
280
00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:24,371
First installment of many, I
should be able to pay you back
281
00:13:24,372 --> 00:13:28,942
by the end of the year. The year... 2047!
282
00:13:28,943 --> 00:13:32,179
- Bro?
- Bro.
283
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:34,815
- Bro.
- Bro.
284
00:13:34,816 --> 00:13:37,951
- Bro.
- Bro.
285
00:13:37,952 --> 00:13:40,187
- Bro!
- Bro! - Ho's!
286
00:13:40,188 --> 00:13:42,289
Ho's before bros!
287
00:13:44,325 --> 00:13:49,029
So, even the fool is a
master of his own trade.
288
00:13:49,030 --> 00:13:50,931
Oh, Stephanie, I have a client
289
00:13:50,932 --> 00:13:52,900
in my office, I think
you may be excited about.
290
00:13:52,901 --> 00:13:55,169
Oh! Who?
291
00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:58,405
Oh, you'll see.
292
00:13:58,406 --> 00:14:02,176
Oh my God!
293
00:14:02,177 --> 00:14:06,046
- Turner Champion? For me?
- Yes, calm down.
294
00:14:06,047 --> 00:14:09,049
- Thanks for waiting, Turner.
- Oh, thank-you
295
00:14:09,050 --> 00:14:11,818
for having me in your space. It is an honor
296
00:14:11,819 --> 00:14:14,688
- to be experiencing you.
- Well, this is Stephanie,
297
00:14:14,689 --> 00:14:16,690
one of my most trusted colleagues.
298
00:14:16,691 --> 00:14:19,893
Oh! Ha ha!
299
00:14:19,894 --> 00:14:22,529
I'm sorry, this is just
such an honor, I... I...
300
00:14:22,530 --> 00:14:25,098
- I don't know what to say.
- Well, If you don't,
301
00:14:25,099 --> 00:14:27,467
you should. But if you should, then don't.
302
00:14:27,468 --> 00:14:30,938
Seriously. I admire your passion.
303
00:14:30,939 --> 00:14:33,106
The only people who are without passion
304
00:14:33,107 --> 00:14:35,876
are the dead.
305
00:14:35,877 --> 00:14:39,446
Now, come! Be alive next to me, Stephanie.
306
00:14:39,447 --> 00:14:42,783
Oh! 'K!
307
00:14:42,784 --> 00:14:45,319
Can I get you a scotch, Turner?
308
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,055
- Oh! No thank you, Dave.
- Ho ho ho! Turner,
309
00:14:48,056 --> 00:14:49,957
you don't have to be coy
with us. There's nothing
310
00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:51,825
you can't say in front of me and Stephanie.
311
00:14:51,826 --> 00:14:54,127
- Then make mine a double!
- Ha ha! Alright!
312
00:14:54,128 --> 00:14:56,163
- That is alcoholic liquor.
- Mm-hm!
313
00:14:56,164 --> 00:14:59,967
What!?
314
00:14:59,968 --> 00:15:04,171
MMM! Yummy, yummy booze!
315
00:15:04,172 --> 00:15:08,408
Dave, I love what you've done
with your personality sphere.
316
00:15:08,409 --> 00:15:10,844
Oh, well, thank you, but
that's entirely the work
317
00:15:10,845 --> 00:15:13,380
- of Stephanie.
- Oh!
318
00:15:13,381 --> 00:15:16,183
You seem familiar to me.
319
00:15:16,184 --> 00:15:18,685
You were at my seminar this weekend.
320
00:15:18,686 --> 00:15:20,654
- Yes, I was.
- Were you the one who threw
321
00:15:20,655 --> 00:15:23,023
your panties on stage?
Good arm, by the way.
322
00:15:23,024 --> 00:15:25,092
Oh, no! No, I would...
323
00:15:25,093 --> 00:15:27,094
I remember your eyes.
324
00:15:27,095 --> 00:15:30,831
Because they are not the eyes of a student.
325
00:15:30,832 --> 00:15:34,334
They're the eyes of an instructor.
326
00:15:34,335 --> 00:15:37,604
- An instructor?
- Stephanie,
327
00:15:37,605 --> 00:15:41,475
I would like you to come
join the Turner Champion team.
328
00:15:41,476 --> 00:15:44,645
- You would?
- Why wouldn't he?
329
00:15:44,646 --> 00:15:47,581
You'd start at the Junior Champion level.
330
00:15:47,582 --> 00:15:50,517
That would mean a fee of 25,000$.
331
00:15:50,518 --> 00:15:52,619
But if you recruit five followers,
332
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:55,722
we knock $10,000 off the initiation fee.
333
00:15:55,723 --> 00:15:59,326
But you... you said that
money isn't the goal,
334
00:15:59,327 --> 00:16:01,628
it's the obstacle in the way of the goal."
335
00:16:03,498 --> 00:16:06,533
(The men laugh.)
336
00:16:06,534 --> 00:16:08,602
- That is true...
- Yeah.
337
00:16:08,603 --> 00:16:11,405
...unless you want to buy an island
338
00:16:11,406 --> 00:16:13,173
and are a few million dollars short
339
00:16:13,174 --> 00:16:15,642
- like I am.
- And I will loan you
340
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,477
that money if that's what
you wanna do, Stephanie.
341
00:16:17,478 --> 00:16:19,946
Is that what you'd like to do?
342
00:16:19,947 --> 00:16:23,317
Um... Well...
343
00:16:23,318 --> 00:16:26,053
Lots to think about!
344
00:16:26,054 --> 00:16:30,157
Yes, I... I will let you know.
345
00:16:30,158 --> 00:16:32,759
Okey dokey!
346
00:16:35,697 --> 00:16:38,065
So, Stephanie,
347
00:16:38,066 --> 00:16:40,033
is she single? 'Cause if she is,
348
00:16:40,034 --> 00:16:42,536
- cut me off a slice.
- Oh! Thank you so much
349
00:16:42,537 --> 00:16:45,505
- for coming in, Turner.
- (laugh)
350
00:16:45,506 --> 00:16:48,275
Sorry I had to do that, sweetheart.
351
00:16:48,276 --> 00:16:50,811
- I feel like such an idiot.
- Oh, don't feel like an idiot.
352
00:16:50,812 --> 00:16:53,413
There's a reason people
like him are so successful.
353
00:16:53,414 --> 00:16:56,116
- I mean, he is very good at what he does.
- Yeah...
354
00:16:56,117 --> 00:16:59,553
But so are you. By the way his real name?
355
00:16:59,554 --> 00:17:02,823
Melvin Scrutch.
356
00:17:02,824 --> 00:17:05,659
- So, do you forgive me?
- Yes.
357
00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:07,394
- You were looking out for me.
- Yeah.
358
00:17:07,395 --> 00:17:09,629
And Turner says: "Forgiveness forgives
359
00:17:09,630 --> 00:17:11,665
what forgetting forgets."
360
00:17:11,666 --> 00:17:13,333
And what the hell does that mean?
361
00:17:13,334 --> 00:17:16,770
I don't even know.
362
00:17:16,771 --> 00:17:20,674
Gordon, I cannot be your emergency contact.
363
00:17:20,675 --> 00:17:23,310
I just don't feel the same way about you
364
00:17:23,311 --> 00:17:25,379
as you feel about me.
365
00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:28,281
Almost there, just need a few more tears.
366
00:17:28,282 --> 00:17:30,517
Oh!
367
00:17:30,518 --> 00:17:33,220
Flibbertigibbets!
368
00:17:33,221 --> 00:17:35,655
It's not that bad - it's not
that bad - it's not that bad...
369
00:17:35,656 --> 00:17:38,425
Oh God...
370
00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:45,332
Gordon?
371
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:47,267
Don't worry, the
paramedics are on their way.
372
00:17:47,268 --> 00:17:49,870
I've given them all your health
information, your blood type,
373
00:17:49,871 --> 00:17:52,506
your social insurance
number, it's gonna be fine.
374
00:17:52,507 --> 00:17:55,976
- How did you know all of that?
- You think I'd ask you to be
375
00:17:55,977 --> 00:17:58,612
my emergency contact without
reading your confidential file?
376
00:17:58,613 --> 00:18:00,881
What kind of person do you think I am?
377
00:18:00,882 --> 00:18:03,683
I'd say you are the perfect person
378
00:18:03,684 --> 00:18:07,053
to be my emergency contact.
Would you do me the honor?
379
00:18:07,054 --> 00:18:09,089
- Sure, Bryce.
- Where it says:
380
00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:11,892
'relationship to me', put:
'best friends forever'.
381
00:18:11,893 --> 00:18:14,327
If only there was a
shorter way to say that.
382
00:18:14,328 --> 00:18:17,230
Hm... Oh, Gordon,
383
00:18:17,231 --> 00:18:19,833
my heart feels like it's
falling asleep again.
384
00:18:19,834 --> 00:18:21,835
Of course, that could
just be from blood loss.
385
00:18:21,836 --> 00:18:23,637
- Ha ha ha!
- Ah!
386
00:18:25,573 --> 00:18:28,108
You can't take away the
card, it's a black card!
387
00:18:28,109 --> 00:18:33,346
And once you go black, you
can Nev... Hello? Hello?
388
00:18:35,983 --> 00:18:38,718
- Here.
- What is it?
389
00:18:38,719 --> 00:18:40,887
Uh, emergency contact form.
Bryce just gave it to me.
390
00:18:40,888 --> 00:18:43,089
You haven't filled it out
and he said you better do it
391
00:18:43,090 --> 00:18:45,091
or else... Plus, there's
blood on it so I know
392
00:18:45,092 --> 00:18:47,928
- he means business.
- Oh...
393
00:18:47,929 --> 00:18:50,063
Why, what's going on?
394
00:18:50,064 --> 00:18:52,866
I guess... it's stupid, but I...
395
00:18:52,867 --> 00:18:56,203
I used to put Graham's name,
but since we broke up...
396
00:18:56,204 --> 00:18:58,638
I... I don't know.
397
00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:01,675
Ah, come on, man! What? It's not stupid.
398
00:19:01,676 --> 00:19:05,278
It makes perfect sense.
That's why you were buying me
399
00:19:05,279 --> 00:19:07,981
all this stuff because you
weren't ready to let go.
400
00:19:07,982 --> 00:19:12,018
I should know when you
break out your $800 socks.
401
00:19:12,019 --> 00:19:14,554
Yeah!
402
00:19:14,555 --> 00:19:17,424
You're right.
403
00:19:17,425 --> 00:19:20,293
- Thanks for understanding.
- OK, I need everyone
404
00:19:20,294 --> 00:19:22,596
out of the way, we've got an angel down!
405
00:19:22,597 --> 00:19:25,131
Best friend down!
406
00:19:25,132 --> 00:19:27,167
Look, dude, I know being single can suck.
407
00:19:27,168 --> 00:19:29,736
God knows I've been there plenty of times.
408
00:19:29,737 --> 00:19:32,305
But you're strong, you
know, you'll bounce back.
409
00:19:32,306 --> 00:19:35,442
There's never been an instance
you haven't landed on your feet.
410
00:19:35,443 --> 00:19:37,544
- Have we met before?
- You're Nelson Abrams,
411
00:19:37,545 --> 00:19:39,946
when have you ever not landed on yo...
412
00:19:39,947 --> 00:19:41,615
Ha ha ha! That's great! Right, that's good.
413
00:19:41,616 --> 00:19:43,917
Bro!
414
00:19:52,472 --> 00:19:54,496
Do, do... do another one, do another one.
415
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:57,065
Just one more, come on, please.
416
00:19:57,066 --> 00:20:00,502
OK. Let the negative opinions
417
00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:03,204
of others be the plutonium
418
00:20:03,205 --> 00:20:06,007
in your self-affirmation bomb.
419
00:20:06,008 --> 00:20:08,677
- Ha ha!
- Huh!?
420
00:20:08,678 --> 00:20:11,212
Good!
421
00:20:11,213 --> 00:20:13,481
What the hell does that even mean?
422
00:20:13,482 --> 00:20:17,118
Go into the desert and ask the universe.
423
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,487
That's what I always tell people.
424
00:20:19,488 --> 00:20:23,191
- (Dave speaks incomprehensibly)
- Can you believe
425
00:20:23,192 --> 00:20:26,261
that people lap this crap up?
426
00:20:26,262 --> 00:20:28,496
Really, I know! I know, it's amazing.
427
00:20:28,497 --> 00:20:31,066
I am a high school dropout!
428
00:20:31,067 --> 00:20:33,735
- No!
- I still say 'libary'.
429
00:20:33,736 --> 00:20:36,638
I do. Oh! God! That's right.
430
00:20:36,639 --> 00:20:39,641
- What? What? What? What?
- I've got to go.
431
00:20:39,642 --> 00:20:42,510
I've got to be up early, uh...
432
00:20:42,511 --> 00:20:44,512
I'm-a going to be speaking
433
00:20:44,513 --> 00:20:46,581
at the 'libary' of congress.
434
00:20:46,582 --> 00:20:49,384
- Ha ha! That is awesome!
- Oh yes!
435
00:20:49,385 --> 00:20:51,786
Good eve to you, good sir.
436
00:20:51,787 --> 00:20:54,556
Mm!
437
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,624
Ah! Abby, You've got all that?
438
00:20:56,625 --> 00:21:00,562
Yup. Wow! That guy really had it coming.
439
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:02,530
Yes, he did.
440
00:21:02,531 --> 00:21:06,067
"Cut me off a slice!"
441
00:21:06,068 --> 00:21:12,171
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
442
00:21:17,279 --> 00:21:20,949
- (laughing): Sorry!
- (laughs from the crew)
443
00:21:20,950 --> 00:21:23,451
- Back to "yummy booze"?
- But I'm still standing
444
00:21:23,452 --> 00:21:26,888
- at that point.
- You don't want to get up!
445
00:21:26,889 --> 00:21:30,291
Raymond Burr had a wheelchair
written into HIS show!
446
00:21:30,292 --> 00:21:32,827
(laughs)
447
00:21:32,828 --> 00:21:35,129
I'll do it but I won't walk.
448
00:21:35,179 --> 00:21:39,729
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0